Academic Humor Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

How to get published

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

'And in conclusion.'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

'Physical or Social Science?'

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

Chaos Theory Conference.

'Oh that?... It has nothing to do with the formula; it just makes the whole thing seem less grumpy.'

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"Eureka! The key of H!"

Books on running a successful school,