Academic Discourse Gifts

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'Our next guest is an economist who is the author of the first economic theory that proves that money makes the world go round.'

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

'Very clever, Gödel — your theory has a built-in disclaimer!'

THE UNCANNY PREDICTIONS OF THE GREAT NOWSTRADAMUS, 'A prominent academic will suggest that females may be intrinsically emotionally different from males... and the feminists will become hysterical.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Eternal Student.

Pretty Flowers

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Meet the scribe"

"Is it that bad?"

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.