Academic Competitor Pillows

"This says freshmen college enrollment is reaching record levels!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I really crammed last night.'

The rocket powered skiier

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

Ratminton

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Eat my dust!"

The Alpha Seltzer

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Miss America IQ Pageant

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

Danger Slow Sand.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Trojan Hurdler.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'