Academic All-star Gifts

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"Miss Lopez said she wanted the best student in class to stand up and read their English essay. Then she asked me to do it!"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Pretty Flowers

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Eternal Student.

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Is it that bad?"

"Meet the scribe"

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

Punctuation Police

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.