Academia Skeptic Pillows

"OK...I'm no rocket scientist."

"Welcome to the future"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Alternative Medicine

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"I removed the AI software from your computer and I can see now that you're a blithering idiot."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

AI Threat to Democracy

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

Documentation Please

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'