Absurdist Art Fan Pillows

A road painter is resting on the side of the road. Rather than painting white lines on a black road he has been painting black on a white road, leaving some white bits.

"Place liver here"

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

"Honey, did you incorporate our entire home into one of your zany health smoothies."

101 uses of a dead cat: shackles.

Have you seen this toaster?

'It's for liability reasons.'

Hammock for Man on Desert Island with Single Tree

A sandworm eats a statue of Buddha

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"Cat box"

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Pray for me.'

Boomerang cow.

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

Double Saxophone

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

Franz Kafka

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

Oreolas

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device