Abstraction Aficionado T-Shirts

'This one's titled, 'Artist's Block'.'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

'Projectile painting.'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"You're welcome."

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

Pastorius wonders why.

It's a call from Tate modern.

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Jackson Pollock Studio

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"Feel better, dear?"

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

Art Gallery.

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Surreal ale

The Cremaster Cycle

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"Outré or simply bad?"

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

Morning and Afternoon Paintings