Abstract Humorist Pillows

"Gambler" "May clean up" "Often spread thin" "On a roll" "Paper towel" "Usually square in shape" "Pat of butter"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Lastly, we have Mr. Asher. He fancies long pulls on the rack, impromptu floggings and water boarding at nightfall."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Copycats

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

I will study my speling words...

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"You're going to hate yourself."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Dog Walking Services

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."