Abstract Art Enthusiast Gifts

'It's nice but will it be a hedge against inflation.'

Businessman looks at abstract painting, saying: 'I won't be investing in this one -I've just met the artist and he's in perfectly good health.'

'I don't think he had a unique view of the world. I think he lost a contact.'

'What do you think the artist is trying to say?'

'Well, I don't WHAT this x-ray is showing us...but I'm seeing Picasso.'

'It looks messy but it has a certain cachet.'

"Great! Awesome! This is true art!!"

Mondrian art books arranged in the style of his paintings.

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

'I like the frame.'

Museum Guard Portrait

Interpretations, please.

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

'Finally something I like!' (Man leaving through the art galleries exit).

"An intellectual is a man who can look at a Mondrian without thinking of Battenburg cake."

"You'll learn in this business that there's no bad art...just bad checks."

"So, is your artwork on the back?"

'Our first and only painting cost us $3.5 million!'

'I want you to bring my character into the painting.'

'That is a nude, sir.'

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'Turned out non-figurative again...'

'I think he's a minimalist.'

"I see you're very creative. I like that in an accountant."

"Jackson, will you please stop doodling when you're on the phone?"

"Would you like one of our experts to come and tell you what you think of it?"

"Have you got that one in green?"

"Now, which one of you idiots is going to pay a ridiculous amount of money for this garbage?"

Piet Mondrian

"This is Jackson Pollock's!"

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

"My five year old could've done that!"

"Miro, Miro on the wall..."

Pollock, The Ride