Abstract Analyst T-Shirts

"Let me through. I'm a philosopher."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Light Bulb Moment

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

Reading my Critics

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

"Was that my pager or yours?"