Abstaining T-Shirts

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Assange Among Friends

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

"Here's the deal. If it tastes good, don't eat it."

Comfort Zone Lady Leaving a Room.

'I love show biz!'

"Our rule of thumb is: if it tastes good, don't eat it."

"I graduated summa cum laude caffeine-free, I'll have you know."

'Stop repeating yourself, Brown!'

"Sometimes, you will be asked to go days without Netflix."

'Thanks again ol' buddy.'

Extreme Filing

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

"I'm saving my abstinence for marriage."

"No wine or song! That doesn't leave much does it?"

'As a matter of fact, he quit smoking three years ago.'

'Oh no, I don't do my own mating fights anymore: Meet my champion...'

Tee-totalitarian

"Surely a total abstainer would abstain from abstention?"

"Pinocchio! Save yourself - for marriage!"

Abseiler and Mountaineer

'...my dad recently gave up drinking and smoking and being able to tolerate sentient life forms.'

'I was once teetotal, it was the worst two hours of my life!'

'I'm a teetotaler.'

"This is the best news I've read in a long time."

injured skier says medicinal brandy is bad

Happy Halloween 2021

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

'He promised me that a cigar should never again touch his lips...!'

'Stop tapping that pencil on your desk!'