Absent-minded Memory Pillows

"Hand me my dirty glass, Carmen...I mean Gracie...I mean YOU!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

'Which arrow points to my office?'

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

"Now that you mention it, I think that I too may have a Master's in Education."

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

"Phone, wallet, glasses... What am I forgetting?"

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"I'm a speaker and I'm lost. Which one of these rooms has the conference/seminar/convention/wedding that I don't remember the name of?"

Mary had forgotten about her recent online shopping purchase!

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

"I keep forgetting it's not Christmas,"

"Sometimes I forget my shopping list. So this time, I made sure to put it in my new purse!"

"I've lost my keys, my wallet and my iPhone! Frankly, I think MINE is the lost generation!"

"I forgot my password, so I created a new one. Then, I forgot that one, so I created a new one. Maybe you were right. I should write them down."

"Tonight? I thought it was tomorrow night."

'I forgot my keys!'

"Honey, did you see where I placed that book entitled:'How to improve your memory?"

"I sometimes think he's living on a different planet."

"Only once! That particular winter morning, it has snowed overnight and the sunrise was so spectacular I was speechless: I forgot to cock-a-doodle-do!"

"Any idea where I left my reading glasses?"

"Did you put out the fire before we left?"

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."

"Where's my pencil?!"