Absent-mindedness Humor Fans Pillows

'Don't worry, your father won't notice.'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

Man on desert island sees tightrope walker on horizon.

"And so it begins... Now where'd I put my dang glasses..."

Mary had forgotten about her recent online shopping purchase!

"I keep forgetting it's not Christmas,"

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

"You ever pick up a rock and then forget why?"

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

"Sometimes I forget my shopping list. So this time, I made sure to put it in my new purse!"

'I forgot my keys!'

'I forgot to turn on the gravity this morning.'

Attack of the Really Lame Stick Figures

"Any idea where I left my reading glasses?"

"Can he call you back? He's meditating."

'It's never an easy decision, but if you're looking for something economical, why don't you take a look at out value menu-er...Value model?'

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

'He's forgotten his key again!'

"I can't find my chi!"

"Did you turn the iron off?"

"My mom said to tell you she's not home!"

'Darling, that memory course I've been doing, can you remember its web address.'

'I'm being let go. Twenty years I give this place, and that's the thanks I get.'

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

Welcome: Forgetful Persons Anonymous.

"I'm telling you Tom, that was the biggest piece of sh*t I ever sat on!"

Something Missing

'Pretzel?'

"Has anyone turned in a pair of reading glasses?"