Absence Artist T-Shirts

'Someday, Mel, when you're here, I'd like you to teach me how to do that 'conspicuous by his absence' thing you do so well!'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

Lockdown casserole

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

Nesting dolls stranded on an island send out nesting bottles with messages in each of them.

Undignified Exits of the Planet World: Geronimo!

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

Desert Island Fantasies

Tweaking the CV.

Crib Escape

Ostrich's head buried into a pile of sand containing a woman

'These virtual-reality goggles are great! Right now, I'm sun-bathing in Tahiti...'

"My entire family's coming for the holidays."

An office worker daydreams about a new poster.

Wishing Well

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

Fox hunting.

Dreaming of Holidays.

A Visit From The Procrastination Muse

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

'Quite nice here, when the tide goes out.'

Tsunami Evac Route

On Holiday

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'Step on it, Larry.'

"If I could quit tomorrow, I'd be gone yesterday."