Absentee Artist T-Shirts

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Lockdown casserole

"Hello?"

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

Dreaming of Holidays.

'Don't worry about this meeting. I got everything we need right up here.'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

"I'm sorry I didn't find your wallet but I found six pairs of reading glasses!"

"I spent locked out including my painting."

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

'Someday, Mel, when you're here, I'd like you to teach me how to do that 'conspicuous by his absence' thing you do so well!'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"Are you going to move?"

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

"Now cover those leftovers with lots of cheese. What they don't know won't hurt them."

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

"Face it, William - you're shit at it!"

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

Shark Bomb

Uncomfortably open Mike night.

Curry for Breakfast.

'Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death, should be around here at quitting time.'

'Listen; They're playing our song!'

"Our smart refrigerator should have a sensor that stops pouring water when someone walks away and forgets to come back."

'It's called Les Restes. It's French for leftovers.'

'He's forgotten his key again!'

Tomb of the unknown leftover