911 Operator Gifts

'Haa, I've been a 911 operator waay to long to fall for that...'

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call them at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

Man being chased by the Grim Reaper calls '911!'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

If nobody had invented graphics

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Local News in Heaven

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

Police film evidence

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

Thermidor Dali

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"In this scene, imagine you're sentient and know what feelings are."

A fly on the wall documentary.

Coastguard

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

"In a late breaking news story, our TV station is on fire."

"It's my extreme sports camera. I thought it would be cool to show my mom what I do at work."

'You don't know how much it would mean to me if you could just jump.'

The Making of a Gag Cartoon

A convict escaping during the press scrum

Houston, we've just found those lost socks people talk about...

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Call Center.

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'That's great! Now hold the label to the front.'