18-hole Humorist Pillows

Golfing with God: I shot at 85 today. Hey, I shot an 18

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Elevator Music

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"I suppose you think that's funny."

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'The highest court in the land.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

The hour of justice

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'The Orginial Big Band sound'

Counsel examining witness

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Musician Sneezing Musical Notes

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

''The buck stops here'? What a coincidence, your honor. My nickname is 'the Buck'.'