Zymurgist Gifts

Beer...Better living through zymurgy.

Polly txt speak

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

The Worm Charmer

Farm Humor.

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

God's Subcontractors

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"He didn't do anything, Gregory. This is a zoo"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."