Zymurgist Gifts

Beer...Better living through zymurgy.

Polly txt speak

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Sign my yearbook?"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Farm Humor.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"The hyenas started it."

The Worm Charmer

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

God's Subcontractors

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"He didn't do anything, Gregory. This is a zoo"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."