Zoom Escapist Pillows

"If only you could do this in real life..."

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"Not again!"

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

"Remote teaching isn't good for torturing a substitute. For that you need a live audience."

Message in a bottle.

No, I distinctly heard a "soo-wee" ringtone.

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Lady holding ballot paper tries to find voting booth.

"I think my life would have been played better set against a Roaring Twenties or Civil War background."

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

A giveaway tan line...

Ramblers Association

Liking the Exit.

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

They were out of bagels...

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."