Cleaning Escapist Pillows

'I'm waiting until someone develops a Weapon of Mess Destruction.'

"It's a Bermudez New Year's tradition! While adults reflect peacefully on the previous 12 months...the children clean the entire house."

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

Clock watcher

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

'Hold my calls. I'm going out for a random walk.'

Do not resuscitate.

A usual day.

"You're in cubicle 1,962. If you get lost in there, I'll send a drone in to guide you."

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

"Tell me about the sunshine, George."

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'