Zoning Code Enforcers T-Shirts

Danny's Farm Closed

Lynching on social media

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'Mobile homes aren't allowed here.'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

No Smoking.

'Click it or ticket.'

Home Sweet Sign

'OK, that's five votes in favor of saving the historic old hotel, and one vote for stomping it to bits and eating everyone inside!'

'What a control freak!'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'

Referee cop.

"Stop son, council regulations state that we're not allowed to crow in urban areas..."

I will not waste chalk kid...

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

'We only have a few rules around here, but we really enforce them.'

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

"That's why we wear hard hats"

Mom Umpires

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

"I try to get a head start on them."

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

Yomp Trucking Inc...My way or the highway!

'Let's get a few things straight. No speed reading, no silly voices, no skipping pages...'

Meditation: Do Not Disturb.

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

We're from the City Zoning Commission, sir -- we've decided to tear down your house and put up a slum.