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Scorpio/scorpion

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

'No kidding! I'm a Leo too!'

Ill next Thursday

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

'I just think we should be together'.

"So, what is your star sign?"

Year of the Rat

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Fortune Tellers Convention

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

Yin and yang - Democrats and Republicans

"It's my New Year!"

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

"So tell me what's your sign?"

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I'll be right with you. I'm reading my horoscope.'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

"I don't suppose we could discuss this when my Mars isn't in opposition to your Sun?"

'I think the new convertible is because they're going through a mid-life Pisces.'

"Can you wait just a minute while I check my latest horoscope?"

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.