Zen Beginner Pillows

"I'm just saying, isn't it a bit early to be 'the present moment'?"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

Zenemies.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Yoga.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Yoga with Baby

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

FAQs.

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

"Hoarder."