Youthfulness Enthusiast Pillows

"You're not fooling anyone trying to cover up your age."

"I can't make you look younger, but I can make you look like you've had a lot of expensive plastic surgery."

Getting older.

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'I feel surgery will give me the confidence to meet new people, and find that special someone I can grow young with.'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

"Botox."

Elderly People

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

"Times were hard for old Sid....He had to get a part-time job!"

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

Knight of the sandcastle.

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

"MOM! Connor got all tangled up in his keychain lanyard again!"

"Jenny, your play date's here!"

"Have you considered releasing him back into the wild?"

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

High pants/Low pants.