Perpetual Youth Enthusiast Pillows

"I AM at my usual position."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Do you think I'm sixty?

Modern Kids.

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"Botox."

Elderly People

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

Over-reaction Man.

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

Knight of the sandcastle.

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

"MOM! Connor got all tangled up in his keychain lanyard again!"

"Your dad’s right — this is way better than watching TV."

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

"Jenny, your play date's here!"

"Come at me, Bro!"

"Have you considered releasing him back into the wild?"