Youth Recapturer Pillows

'That's the last time we lie about our ages and go on a Club 18-30 holiday in Corfu...'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Spring Chicken"

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

Boss

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

'I hate it when teen angst becomes mid-age angst.'

"I can check again, but I'm pretty sure no one has handed in your lost youth."

'Take ten years off the top.'

"I was pushing fifty and then it sneaked up behind me."

"Oh Sarah, You bring out the child in me"

'Don't be silly - we've got our heels on.'

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.

The Minor Issue

"That anti-aging cream worked wonders."