Youth Recapturer Pillows

'That's the last time we lie about our ages and go on a Club 18-30 holiday in Corfu...'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Spring Chicken"

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

'I hate it when teen angst becomes mid-age angst.'

"I can check again, but I'm pretty sure no one has handed in your lost youth."

'Take ten years off the top.'

"I was pushing fifty and then it sneaked up behind me."

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.

"Oh Sarah, You bring out the child in me"

'Don't be silly - we've got our heels on.'

The Minor Issue

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.