Youth Athletics Pillows

'My dad won't let me take steroids until I'm seven.'

Football Fans

The trauma of losing.

"I AM at my usual position."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Exercising

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"Viola player coming through!"

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

Multisports

A boy with a football

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"I've never been into the other team's end... what's it like?"

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

Our coaches are from top college teams. Questions. Why aren't you in training? Sports Camp. Rotator cuff injury. Concussion. Back surgery. Counselor. Ok, campers. Let's show them what you've got! Excellent health insurance card representation!

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

'...And remember' It's not whether your dads win or lose the fight in the stands. It's how you play the game.'

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'We're doing everything we can to police ourselves on steroids.'