Young Socrates Pillows

'I understand how I was born; I want to know why.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Could I ask just one question?"

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Four children playing the flute.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"Police? My son and his friends were playing, building a moon rocket. . . I believe that they actually blasted off!"

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"So much for password protected."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'