Young Relatives Pillows

A Spooked Pumpkin.

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

At the Museum

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

Likes: $2.

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Boy and Bear and Monster

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

Children's Party

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"Better luck next time, kid."

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

Speed Dating.

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

Snowman

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

Stockwell's day

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'