Young Handyman Gifts

'You have to do that chair again. You got the paint on upside down.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'Now it fits.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Education and Apprenticeships

Fixing the TV.

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'My dog is terrified of strangers. would you be a dear and wear this outfit while you're working here?'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Building a sandcastle and children's imagination.

'Don't worry, she's going to hold the nails.'

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

'He kept his enthusiasm for DIY right up to the end.'

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

"Stop being stubborn and call the plumber!"

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

Christmas gift requiring assembly.

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

"You'll have to excuse the president. He misses his old days at the construction site."

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

'Daddy! Your hammer doesn't work good!'

Kit-set shelving. Third attempt.

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

'My parents say it will give me a sense of responsibility and pride in accomplishment. I'm looking at it as a 'get rich quick' scheme.'