Wannabe Handyman Gifts

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'Now it fits.'

Zorro as a child.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'Don't worry, she's going to hold the nails.'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'He kept his enthusiasm for DIY right up to the end.'

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

Christmas gift requiring assembly.

"You'll have to excuse the president. He misses his old days at the construction site."

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

God's lil' fix-it shop.

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

'You have to do that chair again. You got the paint on upside down.'

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

'Trust me, kids. Everything tastes better at the ballpark.'

"My husband said he could fix anything so if you find him, tell him he was wrong!"

"So a plumber charges $600 for 45 minutes' work?! Is that the coolest job or what?!"

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

'The meaning of life? Sorry, kid, you're on the wrong mountain - I'm the guru of handy household tips!'

'On the other hand, he's very good at Chinese Checkers.'

'Now that we've adjusted to the dampness, we just love this house.'