Young Filmmaker T-Shirts

'It's not fair 'Bogie'...they took away my video camera...did you ever hear them say anything about not hiding behind the shower curtain and filming visitors on the can?'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Crocodile

Kirsten Johnson

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

Police film evidence

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Lord of the Rings IV.

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

Don Quixote is recorded by Sancho Panza.

'I still say these shots need more action.'

'Hold it - someone's filming this without permission!'

'Coming up next...more of man's inhumanity to man...in hi-def.'

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

Ernie is a documentary filmmaker who tells stories of folks in their professional lives -- I think he should wonk on his film titles more. One film looked at the surprisingly competitive cutthroat world of the dry cleaning business. "The Hanger Games." In another, we see astronomers traveling to remote locations to escape light pollution. "The Dark Night." Ernie showed us the bond among young butchers in an increasingly vegan world. "Stand by Meat"! And he told us the story of a man who i

Michael Moore

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

Animation Film Festival. Great, now I have a toon stuck in my head.

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

"All right, let's do it again. This time, you're good at acting."

'Because it's there.' ... 'Because he may fall.'

'Oh Rats! I can't be creative with a box of flat crayons!'

Rain Forest Filmcrew

An environmental documentary crew filming garbage washing up on the beach.

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

'You're a funny beggar, switching off the sound just because Joanna Lumley is ENTHUSING!'