Young Athlete Mentor Gifts

'Not right now, Timmy. First we're going to work on fielding ground balls. Maybe later we can discuss collective bargaining.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

Regardless children just want to fit in.

A boy with a football

Multisports

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'I wouldn't worry too much about his communication skills....grunting is perfectly normal at his age!'

"Have you considered vlogging?"

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

"I have goals in life. Just last week I scored three goals!"

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'With school, sports and music lessons, I don't get to spend much quality time with my gerbil.'

"It's been a tough season, and you tried your hardest, son. But you're being traded."

"Every year it's harder and harder to get their attention."

"The kid's a natural."

I think we got stuck with the rookie coaches. First thing -- Stop kicking your equipment around.

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

'Anyone want to learn how to do a leg sweep? How about a roundhouse kick? it's ok, your parents know who I am!'

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

Gym Kids

"I am standing up straight."

"Reboot, Robert."

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

'I shouldn't worry - soon he'll meet someone who'll give him a good hiding and then he'll get the message. . .'

'Officer Root will never believe the car was stolen. He knows we have four teenagers'