Young Athlete Mentor Gifts

'Not right now, Timmy. First we're going to work on fielding ground balls. Maybe later we can discuss collective bargaining.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

Regardless children just want to fit in.

Multisports

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

A boy with a football

'I wouldn't worry too much about his communication skills....grunting is perfectly normal at his age!'

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"I have goals in life. Just last week I scored three goals!"

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

'With school, sports and music lessons, I don't get to spend much quality time with my gerbil.'

"It's been a tough season, and you tried your hardest, son. But you're being traded."

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

"Every year it's harder and harder to get their attention."

"The kid's a natural."

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

"Reboot, Robert."

Gym Kids

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

"I am standing up straight."

'I shouldn't worry - soon he'll meet someone who'll give him a good hiding and then he'll get the message. . .'

'Officer Root will never believe the car was stolen. He knows we have four teenagers'

"Whenever I meet somebody, I try and accept them for who I am."