You-nique Enthusiast T-Shirts

'We're trying a more holistic approach to our surgeries.'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"Yes, you were born into the era of passwords and user-names. . . why do you ask, Mycat_2014?"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Tom Cruise

Naming that Impala

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"My name is Bob and I'm looking for a 'Yesirree' man."

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

What really became of the boy named Sue.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Backdoor

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

"Read this. It's a draft of a novel I'm writing fro the young adult market. I want to make sure there's absolutely nothing in it you can relate to."

Mr Long and Miss Short.

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

Wearing all black

Changing house name.

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

Gallery Guide

"One of you will be Kevin, one will be Kev and one will be K. You decide who."

Margaret...Meatball

A word to the wise. At this morning's meeting you were referred to as the 'the bottleneck'.

'Theodore seemed much more approachable when he began going by his childhood name.'