Writing Stories T-Shirts

"Madame, you're the most beautiful lady in the whole country and as sweet as apple pie!"

Hitchcock's The Birds

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Occu-Pie Mars

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"