Writing Songs Pillows

'Here's one I wrote to cover the sound of my wife's voice telling me nobody is going to pay to hear my songs.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Campaign for Plain English

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"