Writing Formula Strategist T-Shirts

My new year's resolution is to write a best-selling novel. Did you know "50 Shades of Grey" started out as fan fiction about that vampire book "Twilight"? I just need to repeat that formula: write fan fiction about a popular book and then just change all the names when I'm done. That way, my book will appeal to that same audience and they won't even know why. Which "popular book" are you going to write fan fiction about? "50 Shades of Grey." Only I'll change the names to "Bella" and "Edward," an

'I sent out for everything.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"I hate performance review season."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Our Two Parties, Explained

'I'm not too sure about that.'

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

Fries and kids

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

Project Manager Showdown

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

'I would like to return this chart. It didn't perform up to our expectations.'

Cat reading Rommel biography.

'Wish you would've warned me about this. I hate getting ambushed.'

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

Hopeful Liberty

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

Dronin'

'I think we should budget on the number of budgets we draw up'

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

"Figured out who should bat cleanup yet, Skipper?"

Suggestions/Terms and Conditions

'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'

"How do you expect to learn to be a good loser when you win all the time?"

'Discover any prime numbers recently?'

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

'I won't rule out using sex as a weapon, but I do have a 'no first use' policy.'