Worried Parent Humorist Pillows

"Phew! It's only Saturday night fever."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"Have you seen my dad?"

Trick or Tweet

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

"Use your inside scream."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"