Worm Wisdom T-Shirts

'I blame TV, computer games and the internet: None of my kids are bookworms...'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

"Like my old man used to say: 'No news is bad news not yet undelivered.'"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

The Meaning of Life

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

"I thought I'd be lonely at the top."

"More aphorisms, please!"

"We just need more wiggle room."

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

'Never, NEVER sneeze while you're levitating.'

"Slithering is okay but jumping is more fun."

Worm Appreciation Society!

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'