Workshops T-Shirts

'I'm afraid you'll have to work late tonight, I want you to attend this talk on work-life balance.'

'Nobody turned up to the 'effective communications' seminar...they didn't get our memo.'

Belief and Trust.

'Will you stop placing these obstacles everywhere?...'

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, today we're going to get down to nuts and bolts.'

"I only asked them to switch off their mobiles..."

Curing Hemorrhoids Seminar

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

'Yes, I'm coaching this workshop. Come in, you stupid idiot!'

Change Management Seminar Changed to 7th Floor

'All our staff are currently on a customer care course. . . please wait, your call is important to us!'

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

Brainstorm in progress.

'OK Harry, what's your idea?'

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Motivational Business Course: Charm, Repetition, Acronyms, Pie Charts.

'Is this what you call training?'

'I've stayed in operation all these years because of my ability to adapt.'

Everyone seemed more relaxed after the Down Skill & Dumb Up seminar.

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

Mechanic's workshop.

'So, in closing, let's all say with as much sincerity as we can, 'Oh, what a darling kitchen!''

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"Jack, here, is the most fascinating man I've ever met—he's in alcohol-abuse counselling, he goes to a sexual-harassment support group, he's in a race-relations workshop, and he spends every weekend in prison."

Chicken Engineer

"I scheduled you for a workshop on insurance forms followed by a workshop on stress."

Model Airplanes

Larry hadn't measured himself against real market needs for many years - and wasn't about to start now.

"I don't think I'm up to it, Coach - I'm exhausted by all the extra equality, diversity and mandatory unconscious-bias training."

Joe's Bar: Ask about our self-esteem seminar.