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The pole desk

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Zombie standup

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Chase me, chase me cows.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"That's it. We’re toast."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Backfire

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Extreme miming"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."