Workplace Values Pillows

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

Do Not Resuscitate

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Bo're'droom

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"I hate performance review season."

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Motivation to work