Workplace Strategists T-Shirts

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

'Stop mumbling, George! We all had to start somewhere...'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'I'd like to get your unvarnished, honest concurrence on something....'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

Career opportunities

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"Uh-Oh..."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."