Workplace Strategies T-Shirts

'They'll tell you this is an open office workspace, but watch out for the invisible fences.'

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

"Heads we go with the analytics. Tails we don't."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"