Workplace Sarcasm Lover Gifts

Accounts payable desk has trays marked 'A day late' and 'A dollar short'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

The Snarky District

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

Pharaoh Cocoon