Workplace Politics Enthusiasts Pillows

"You calm down."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

Lord George brings news of the debate

Scapegoat of the Year

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

'Underestimate him at your own risk. When he first came here, everybody laughed and said he didn't have a snowball's chance. Now he's our regional supervisor. Go figure!'

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"

'You are smarter, faster and more efficient than Carter... they's why I'm making you the new assistant to Carter!'

Health Care Crisis table.

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

Pecking order.

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'Yes, I work well with others - just not with these others.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

Buck Stops Here

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Trump returns home

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

Doves of peace trapped within the statue of liberty.

'Do you still wonder how Kevin got his promotion to VP?!'

'The boss is taking me along for a working vacation. I'll be doing his work while he has fun.'

"Well, I seem to have really messed up... Of course I take full responsibility. Gurkenman, you're fired."