Workplace Jesters Pillows

' I hope you're not trying to suggest that I don't pay you enough Foster ! '

"People often think management is glamorous, that we spend all our time engaging in high profile decision making."

Help Wanted Signs Explained.

"This position has become very important to the company."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"I hate performance review season."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"I was just finishing up some spring cleaning."

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"