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'We need more boots on the ground.'

I need to take some bereavement time off. "Bereavement time"? Let me check

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'

'We've been looking at a new 'incentive' scheme. The incentive is you get to keep your job!'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Billy. The Kid.

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

Atomic Bear: Part 22

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Tarzan of the Grapes.

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Caption contest. After last year's 3,000 entries, we're doing it again! Visit Speedbump.com for info and send your entries to speedbumpcomic@comcast.net.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

Bingo's Time Out - Part Three

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

Atomic Bear: Part 14