Workplace Comedy Fans Pillows

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

'Men at Work' sign indicates that the workmen are sitting around smoking and drinking tea.

"He snapped my suspenders. Is that good?"

'Back to work, McFly! You're spending too much time on that screen saver...'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"I appreciate the effort Carl, but I don't think you understand the swarm concept."

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Greetings, Earthling - Are you a worker or a drone?"

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I've got an exciting new assignment for you. You're going to share one salary.'

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

"You might need to remind Mrs. Sanders it's 'bring your DAUGHTER to work' day."

"Benign so far."

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

The Hive, Inc. Think safety! 17 days without a honey boo-boo.

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

Have you ever read Dickens, minion? No. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. How about Upton Sinclair? John Steinbeck? Who? … Marx? Mark's what? Thank you for reminding me why I hired you, minion. Can I take my weekly lunch break today instead of Friday?

"Ziegler, I'm transferring you out of the energy commission!"