Workplace Comedy Fans Pillows

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

'Men at Work' sign indicates that the workmen are sitting around smoking and drinking tea.

"He snapped my suspenders. Is that good?"

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"I appreciate the effort Carl, but I don't think you understand the swarm concept."

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Greetings, Earthling - Are you a worker or a drone?"

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

"You might need to remind Mrs. Sanders it's 'bring your DAUGHTER to work' day."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"Benign so far."

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I've got an exciting new assignment for you. You're going to share one salary.'

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

"Look at them over there, looking all smug with their clients and accounts and stuff."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

"Ziegler, I'm transferring you out of the energy commission!"

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'