Workout Wonder Pillows

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!', 'Will he have new credit cards?'

Claus 2.0

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

Guy in gym

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

"That 'knowledge equals power' thing will take you only so far."

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

Body Building Mishap

Sportknitting

"The gods really love tight buns."

'Leonardo's Lament' - 'I have nothing to do.'

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

Exercise Car.

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

Weigh station

'Darling, you look like a .... princess!'

'Workshop must-haves: a rubber drill.'

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

"So what really motivates your colleagues?"

"I could never go wireless."

'We've listened to staff concerns about the need for more training.'

"How's your exercise class going?"

Wedding Special: Buy one get your next one free

'I can't understand why I don't lose weight.. I walk five miles a day.'

'I think we better get started on that other arm.'

"I don't mind them sending me to my room, but then they shut down my wifi."